I Only Wanted a Drink!
by Luthy Lovett
Summary: Poor Clanker just wants a Rum Surprise. Will he get one? XD This was written for threeheadedmonkey.


**_Heylos! I've decided that I am going to create a contest. Now, there will be a prize, but it's rather small, since I don't have money or t-shirts to throw around. XD The prize for winning the contest is that I'll make you a caption with a character of your choice, provided it's from one of the two PotC movies. The caption will be yours to keep and do what you want with it- I won't post it on the captions page. It'll be YOURS XD So. The subject of the contest will be to write a fic about Will's whipping on the Dutchman. It can be humor, angst- anything you wish. If you'd like to join the contest, PM me, and tell me that you would like to join. After that, write up your story, and email it to me. There's really no deadline for entries, but I'll post a message up here when I'm not accepting any more entries. Have fun, and get writing! Hmm, I think I've decided to set the deadline for the 20th of this month. Stories should be sent in on that day. Or, sooner, if you'd like. .._**

**Summary:** Okies, credit for the idea for this goes to **threeheadedmonkey.** I was inspired by this line in her story: "FAVORITE DRINK: Rum Surprise (named that because you're surprised that you can still stand after you've drunk it). Sadly, even the innkeepers in Tortuga refuse to serve me – as if I looked any worse than some of their other clients!". So, yup. Here it is!

**Disclaimer:** Credit for the idea of Clanker not being served a drink goes to threeheadedmonkey. So, basically, I own nothing.

_**I Only Wanted a Drink!**_

With a sigh, I walked into the tavern and made my way over to the bar counter. Slipping into a seat, I looked around. Of course- there were a few people staring at me, like there always were. Most of them were too drunk to care, but there were always a few.

Ignoring their gaze, I turned to the serving wench. "Just a Rum Surprise-"

But before I could finish, she shrieked, turned, and fled. Groaning, I put my head into my hands. I went through this _every_ time we made port. I can never win.

The barmaid soon returned, and she had brought a few of her friends with her. They pointed at me and giggled, whispering amongst themselves.

"Excuse me-" I began again, but she shrieked again, and I heard one of her friends say, "It's hideous!"

That was it. "Okay, one- I'm not an _it._ As you can tell, I'm a he. Yeah, so now that we've got that covered, would you mind serving me a drink? That's all I want- one drink. Just one, not too hard, now, is it?"

They stared at me, eyes wide. Obviously, they were shocked that I possessed a brain. I closed my eyes. "Once again, a drink- a Rum Surprise."

One of them broke off from the group, and headed carefully in my direction. "I'm sorry… sir. But we can't- won't- serve you. Slimy sea creatures aren't allowed in here."

I banged a fist on the counter top, making her jump. "By Jones! Just give me a damn drink!"

"Again, we can't serve you, sir."

Seeing as how my angry fist-banging hadn't worked, I decided to try the nice approach. "Please?"

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Pretty please?"

"_No_."

"Pretty please with calamari on top?"

"_NO!_"

That was it. Leaping up, I whipped out the two balls of chainshot that I use as weapons. "Fine then! Down on your marrowbones and pray!"

I smashed my weapons down on the counter, breaking a large hole in it. The girl squealed, and ran away. People backed away from me, their eyes wide.

I screamed a garbled sentence of frustration, and stomped out of the tavern, heading back to the _Dutchman_.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

When I got there, Bootstrap was waiting for me. "Any luck, mate?"

I shook my head. "No. It was the same as last time. And the time before that. I don't think it'll ever change."

My friend looked at my morose face, and put his arm around my shoulder. "There, there, Clanker. It'll be fine. What d'you say to a nice bones and bread sandwich and a game of Liar's Dice, eh?

I looked at Bootstrap and grinned. "Ah, you always know how to cheer me up."


End file.
